Friday, 21 September 2012
Not a review.
In a dark KL cinema, cold air-con in the hall.
Warm smell of popcorn, coming in through the walls.
Up there on the big screen, I saw a sickening sight,
the jokes were smelly, and the laughs were slim,
I didn't know what to write.
I really expected more,
Especially from the creator of Samurai Jack and Dexter's Lab.
This just seemed like a wasted oppurtunity.
Paranorman was WAY better than this.
So much more original and creative too.
I mean COME ON.
It's a HOTEL. For MONSTERS.
There's SO MUCH YOU COULD DO with that.
And all you could come up with were FART JOKES?
Could it because Adam fucking Sandler is in it?
So it AUTOMATICALLY NEEDS FART JOKES?
Drac was actually not a bad character,
But Sandler's voice just grates on me.
And Selena Gomez?
Other than the fact that she was Selena Gomez,
What else did she give the character?
The Mummy! The Invisible Man!
Frankenstein's monster! The Werewolf!
All those GREAT characters and monsters!
But NOOOO, fart jokes are way funnier.
And It's ALL ADAM SANDLER.
And that HUMAN KID OMG KILL HIM PLEASE.
Ok, it was funny in parts,
But the cliches, the lazy gags,
The been there done that-ness of it all.
I was hoping for Samurai Jack to show up,
And WIPE THEM ALL OUT.
That would have been a great twist.