Monday, 1 October 2012

KUNGFU! STATE OF THE ART! CHOP-SOCKY HEEEYAH!



Tai Chi Zero
太极 1
Not A Review.
Yes, I'm aware that the English name is ZERO
But the Chinese one is ONE.
Don't ask me why.
Well, the 2nd movie is supposed to be TAI CHI HERO.
ZERO to HERO, geddit? Sheesh.
What's the 3rd movie gonna be called?
Tai Chi Trio? Tai Chi Oreo? Tai Chi Gigolo?



Anyway, I had a BAAAAD feeling about this.
Because I saw a ENGLISH trailer for this during Dredd,
Which had the WORSE CHOP-SOCKY VOICEOVER EVER.
A KUNGFU STEAMPUNK THROWDOWN!
FIGHTING! KUNGFU! STATE OF THE ART!
CHOP-SOCKY HEEEYAH!



But surprisingly, this was not bad wor.
I was fairly entertained,
And I didn't cringe too much.
Which is a good thing.
Despite the crappy English dialogue,
And some facepalm moments.



The video game bits were quite fun!
Got funny little touches here and there,
Like Scott Pilgrim vs The World!
And got Street fighter scene also WTF.
But at least they were fun!
And not annoying!



The Steampunk parts were a bit dumb though.
WAH THE ANG MOH GOT AWESOME ROBOT HOUSE-EATING MACHINE!
HOW CAN THE PUNY KUNGFU BEAT THAT!
In the end it just distracted from the TAI CHI.
You'd think they'd use tai-chi to defeat the robot,
But NOOOO... first thing they say when they see it is:
"Our tai chi cannot defeat that."
*Facepalm*
COME ON, TAI CHI THE NUTS OFF THE DAMN ROBOT ALREADY.



And the story OMG.
HOW MANY TIMES YOU WANNA DO THE EAST VS WEST THING AGAIN?
EVERY Kungfu movie is about the kungfu vs angmoh thing.
I know it's what happened during that "period" in history,
BUT COME ON, ENOUGH OF THE SAME OLD SHIT ALREADY.
GET AN IMAGINATION AND COME UP WITH SOMETHING ORIGINAL PLEASE.



The fighting? Not bad wor.
The lead fella is wushu champion,
So he is damn good.
(Acting a bit kayu, but not still bad)
But I wish they didn't edit so much and so quickly.
I hate it when fights are editted so much,
Until nothing but a bunch of legs and fists flailing about.



Hmmm, Angelababy.
Not too bad, cute, but a bit kayu.
Convincing fighting though.
(BTW why does her forehead look too big for her chin?)
Tony Leung (Kar Fai, not Chiu Wai) not bad also.
Though you saw who he was a MILE away.
The bad guy was annoying like hell though.
And looks kinda stupid in that hat.



Ok lah, I quite liked it.
It's not GREAT, but fun in a mindless sort of way.
The second one seems more serious though, I think.
The hero not so bodoh giler already.
He's supposed to be some kungfu legend BTW.
So yeah, MORE FIGHTING LESS ROBOT PLEASE KTHNXBAI.

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