Monday, 23 July 2012

HOLY CAT ON A BATPOD, BATMAN!



The Dark Knight Rises.
Not a review.
HOLY BAT IN THE BAT, BATMAN.
GODDAMN, BATMAN.
I've watched this twice already,
And I STILL wanna go watch it again.



BATMAN! BANE!
CATWOMAN! (oh wait, she's only called Selina Kyle here)
THE BATCAVE! (oooh, gloomy)
THE BATPOD! (Holy Cat on a Batpod, Batman!)
THE BAT! (This isn't a car)
*fanboy hyperventtlates*
Ahem.



Make no mistake about it: This ain't no Avengers.
It's not a superhero movie.
It's a serious, intellectual, socially-aware movie,
Which just HAPPENS to have a superhero in it.
Nolan isn't interested in appeasing the fanboys.
(Besides, you've got The Avengers for that sort of thing.)
He didn't set out to make a Batman movie,
He set out to make a movie with Batman in it.
There's a difference there, you know.



Anyway, to the Batcave!
Knightfall! No Man's Land!
Nolan didn't follow the comics per se,
But there are so many comic book threads here.
Most Batman fans wouldn't be surprised at the twists,
Unless you're the type who don't read the comics, of course.



I actually liked Batman a lot more here than in TDK,
It showed the fact that although he is a so-called 'superhero',
He is still a MAN, first and foremost.
A man who CAN be broken, both mentally and physically.
Bale's Batman has never been more vulnerable,
And as a result, when the inevitable rise happens,
You get a sense that HE. IS. THE. BATMAN.



Bale's Batman has never been the finished article to me.
He is not the crimefighting machine he is in the cartoons of comics.
In fact, Nolan's movies feels like a LONG version of Batman: Year One,
Where Bruce Wayne is still LEARNING to be Batman.
Of what he must do to become Batman, the cold crimefighting machine.



Catwoman!
At first I thought she wasn't really essential to the movie,
But she is, she really is.
She just lights up the movie every time she's on,
And keeps it from being a sausage-filled brawlfest.
I really liked the fact that her 'cat ears' are her goggles.
Cleavage rating: 8.5
Ass on a Batpod rating: OFF THE CHARTS.



BANE.
Holy crap, Tom Hardy. IS that really you?
There's no Venom here, or lucha libre mask,
But this Bane is TERRIFYING.
Yes, even when he talks.
At first the rather flippant tone was a bit jarring,
But later, coming from THAT imposing figure,
That voice was rather.... disconcerting.
Not scary... DISCONCERTINGLY DISTURBING.



The supporting characters get a lot more time too.
Alfred was a very emotional character for me,
Lucius Fox is GOD (and not just because he's Morgan Freeman)
Oooh, Marion Cotillard.
Cleavage rating: 8
Oh, and there's Joseph Gordon Lewitt also.
It's like Inception all over again.



It's not perfect.
There are parts where it DOES sag a little,
And there are a little TOO many monologues for my liking.
Some parts I only managed to understand after the 2nd time,
(including some of Bane's dialogue too)
But it's still a solid, solid movie.
And a fitting end to Nolan's Batman trilogy.
It's also better than 90% of the superhero movies out there.



Sooo....
Is it better than The Dark Knight?
WHO BLOODY CARES?
AND WHY DOES IT BLOODY MATTER?
The Dark Knight set an UNPRECEDENTED standard,
The bar was set SO HIGH that not even Nolan can pass it.
And he knows it, so he didn't set out to do so.
The Dark Knight Rises is its own beast,
And what a beast it is.



Tuesday, 3 July 2012

Amazing Webslinging, Not So Amazing Story



The Amazing Spider-Man
Not a review.
Directed by a guy named... Mark WEBB.
I see what you did there, Sony.
Whether you enjoy this or not,
Depends on how you define "Amazing" actually.
This movie? There were Amazing parts.
And there were NOT so Amazing parts too.




Me, I found the webslinging this time REALLY AMAZING.
It was more than amazing, it was SPECTACULAR
The way the camera twirls around, zooms in, sooms out...
The first-person POV at times was giddyingly awesome
And it really makes Sam Raimi's Spidey moves look dated.
Also love the webshooters. Organic webs? BAH!



Andrew Garfield is also not bad.
More Ultimate Peter Parker than the normal Marvel one.
He's not Tobey Macguire, that's for sure.
Tobey was more nerdy, more boy scout-like.
Garfield is a bit more edgy and cool,
But a bit TOO pretty boy lor.
And too GODDAMN EMO FFS.



Oooh, Emma Stone.
I've always liked Emma Stone.
And Emma Stone as Gwen Stacy? WIN!
Though if they make a sequel to this,
And put in the Green Goblin,
Then we can pretty much tell what happens next...



I also liked how the story is more realistic.
It's grittier, more obvioulsy set in the real world,
And doesn't have the "comic book feel" of Raimi's films.
It's more Ultimate Spider-man than the normal Marvel-verse.
Which I think is great.



Now for the not so amazing part.
The story's a bit too "Been There Done That"
Come on lah,
Spider-Man's origin story has been done TO DEATH.
EVERYONE knows the story by now.
Radioactive spider, Uncle Ben, Aunt May,
Great Power... Great Responsibliblablablabla
EVERYONE KNOWS IT.
SO WHY DO IT AGAIN???



Yes, they've TWEAKED the origin a little here and there,
But it's still essentially the same story,
Just with a different villain
(who is pretty unmemorable, if you ask me)
(Not Curt Connors' fault, more the Lizard's fault).



Seriously, if they wanted to reboot it,
Why not just assume that everyone already knows the origin,
And use an entirely new story instead?
Why rehash the origin story AGAIN,
A story that is probably more well-known now than Snow White.



I'm not saying this is a bad film.
It's just a been too familiar.
Everytime there was a scene WITHOUT Spider-man
You just wish you could FAST FORWARD.
It's like watching a movie for the 2nd time,
You can guess what's coming next,
So you just want to skip to the awesome parts instead.



but if you DO watch it,
Watch it in IMAX.
The action and the webslinging are AWESOME.
AMAZING, SPECTACULAR, and AWESOME.
It's everything you wanted a Spider-man movie to be like.
If there weren't already three spider-man movies before this...