Wednesday, 17 July 2013

Long Live The Queen And Her Sniper Rifle



RED 2.
Not a review.
Oh look, Bruce Willis is back as an aging, retired action hero?
GEEEZ, where have we seen THAT before?
That's THREE movies with him in that sort of role already,
And that's just THIS YEAR.
Luckily, this is the best of the lot.
It's the best Bruce-Willis-As-Aging-Retired-Action-Hero movie of the year,
Eat your heart out, Die Hard 5 and GI Joe 2.



Seriously, if you only need one reason to watch this,
Watch it for The Queen, sorry, Helen Mirren,
And her kickass sniper rifle.
And her awesome machinegun,
And her badass double pistols.
Oh just watch her.
She's the most badass Queen EVER.



Oooh, Catherine Zeta Jones....
In a MILITARY UNIFORM.
Now THAT is hot.
If only she was wearing that 10 years ago.
Sigh.
Oh, got that Korean Storm Shadow guy as well,
Who takes his shirt off, as usual.



MALKOVICH!
Malkovich malkovich malkovich.
Malkovich MALKOVICH malkovichmalkovich.
MALKOVICH MALKOVICH!
Malkovich... M.A.L.K.O.V.I.C.H.
Malkovichmalkovichmalkovich



I actually like this more than the FIRST RED.
It's fun, funny, and got some cool action.
And at least this time Bruce Willis is not as annoying.
And besides, he's got a KICKASS Helen Mirren with him,
And MALKOVICH MALKOVICH!



Seriously, don't mess with the Queen.
Especially when she's got a sniper rifle aimed at your head.




2 comments:

KY said...

malkovich is there, I will watch it!

Michael Cheang said...

Malkovich malkovich, "MALKOVICHMALKOVICH... MALKOVICH!"