Thursday, 27 June 2013

MINIONS! MILLIONS OF MINIONS!!!!



Despicable Me 2
Not a Review.
This was literally how I was,
Throughout the entire movie:



MINIONS!
MORE MINIONS!
LOTS AND LOTS OF MINIONS!
I LOVE MINIONS!
I WANT MY OWN MINIONS!



YAY MINIONS!
Whee! So fun! more minions!
What's that minion doing back there?
Ahahahaha!
HAHAHAHA MINIONS SO FUNNY!



Eh, where are the minions?
BOOOORIING
Gru? Pfffft.
Bad guy? *YAAAWN*
Bring back the MINIONS! MORE MINIONS!



YAY MINIONS BACK!
HELLO!
Bodepew dadaaaa padadada!
Papoy? Da da da.
Banana! Banana! Pappel.
Bottom. Ahahahaahak!



Eh, why go back to other characters again.
Ok, little baby cute.
But MINIONS CUTER!
BRING BACK MINIONS
Don't want grown up lovey dovey!
MORE MINIONSSS!!!



YAY Minions are back!
Minions are so fun!
More minions!
Yay papoypadadabda!
Ahaahahah!



Ergh, Minion overdose.
Need break from Minions.
Bring back some of the other charact...
YAY MINIONS!
GOOD MINIONS!
BAD MINIONS!
MILLIONS OF MINIONS!



Oh, story ending?
Are minions ending too?
Sad. No more minions.
MINIONMINIONMINION!
MORE MINIONS after movie!
WHEEE!

Tuesday, 18 June 2013

At least World War Z wasn't a world class zzzzz



World War Z.
Not a review.
Z is for ZOMBIES!
LOTS OF ZOMBIES!
ZOMBIES CLIMBING ZOMBIES!
ZOMBIE MOUNTAINS!
ZOMBIE STREETS!
(Oh you get the picture)



Z is for ZOUNDS!
Now those are crazy scary zombies.
Not just the way the chase and run after you,
But also the way they TURN into zombies,
Contort here contort there,
Like Yoga Gone Wild.



Z is for ZERO
As in ZERO BLOOD.
You'd think with THAT many zombies biting people,
You'd have BUCKETS AND WATER TANKERS FULL OF BLOOD.
But NOOOO.
The only drops of blood you see are Brad Pitt's.
And even then it's like "drip drip drip".
It's like he's the only one allowed to bleed in the movie.



Z is for Zzzz.
No I don't mean you'll fall asleep in the cinema,
I mean you'll probably lose some zZZZzz over this,
Especially if you sleep in a quiet, dimly lit laboratory.
Ultimate proof that zombies are actually scarier when they are slower.
When they run and chase you it's frightening enough.
When they TURN AND STARE AT YOU,
Start shuffling... AND THEN BREAK INTO A RUN,
Now THAT'S super crazy scary!!



Wait a minute, where's the war?
It's called WORLD WAR Z isn't it?
So where's the war?
Where's the people vs zombies carnage we've been promised?
All I see are a bunch of military folks holed in a ship/bunker/walled city
Who send Brad Pitt to play Where In The World is Carmen Zombiagio.



Not that the action is not there,
The zombie attack set pieces were TERRIFIC,
The opening sequence especially.
But I was expecting, you know,
More "DIE ZOMBIE DIE!" and RATATATA BOOM POW!
Brad Pitt chopping up a few zombies doesn't quite cut it, y'know?
Shaun did it with more style,
AND he did it in a PUB!



So, story = meh.
Action = great when there were zombies running after Brad Pitt.
Worth watching on cinema for the sheer scale of the zombie swarm attacks,
But I wish they'd done a bit more with the story,
And given us more SOLDIERS VERSUS ZOMBIES shit.
Oh well, at least it wasn't exactly a world class Zzzzzzz

Monday, 17 June 2013

Hope on Krypton is Just An 'S' On Earth *snigger*



Man of Steel
Not a review.
Jeng jeng jeng!
Ooooo!
Look! Up in the sky!
It's Super-emo-man!



Yeah, damn emo lor.
I can count on one hand, nay, TWO FINGERS,
How many times I actually laughed or smiled during the movie.
(Ok, I sniggered when Lois said, "On Earth, that's just an 'S'")
(I'm juvenile, sue me)
It's hardly Batman Begins,
But it's certainly as dark and as serious as Nolan's Batmovies.



No need to compare to Christopher Reeve's Superman lar
They are both completely different movies.
Reeve's Superman was a superhero for a much more innocent time.
Today, we already believe a man can fly,
So all we want is for the flying man is to be AWESOME.



Henry Cavill IS Superman.
He's WAAAY better than Branden Routh (that doesn't say much, TBH)
And is almost as good a Superman as Reeve.
But is he a good CLARK KENT?
He's a good pre-Daily- Planet Clark Kent.
But we haven't seen his mild-mannered reporter Clark Kent.
But as Superman, he's super.



WOOT! Amy Adams!
Probably my favorite Lois Lane so far.
Ok, favorite NEW Lois Lane.
But DAMMIT, NO CLEAVAGE RATING.
NONE WHATSOEVER.
So disappointing.
Sigh.



KNEEL BEFORE ZOD!!!
Wahlau this Zod damn intense lor,
His EYE look like they SEE THROUGH YOU
AND CAN BURN RIGHT THROUGH YOU.
(Which they do, literally, of course)
Scarily dangerous, this Zod.



The ACTION is awesome though.
If Batman's fights were BIFF POW BAM WHAM
This one was more like....
WHAMMO!!! WHOOSH!!
BZZZAP!! KABLAMMO!!!
WAALLOOP!!! KABIIISSSHH!!!
Fighting with Superspeed, flight, heat rays AND superstrength!
Now THAT'S a Superfight!



Good job avoiding the whole secret identity thingy though
Y'know, With Glasses = Clark Kent, Without Glasses = Superman
This is a journey of Superman BEFORE he became Clark Kent
At least the Clark Kent we all know.
It's probably going to piss off some fans
(Mark Waid certainly got pissed off at one point)
But it's solid.

Monday, 10 June 2013

This is Jimmy's Undamaged World. Eat it.



If Daft Punk's album sees them doing something completely different, Jimmy Eat World's latest album, Damage, sees them doing exactly the same thing they've been doing all along. That's by no means a bad thing, though. Jimmy Eat World are one of my greatest guilty pleasures because of their simple melodies, poignant lyrics and their uncomplicated emo rock.

While I don't want them to go all Kid A and experiment too much on their new albums, I do wish Jim Adkins and co would try and be a little less cookie cutter with their songs though. There are some good tunes here (my favorites are Appreciate and Damage) but too many of them sound nothing that stands out particularly like Sweetness and The Middle did on Bleed American, or 23 and Polaris on Futures.

As it is, Damage is uncomplicated and familiar stuff from Jimmy Eat World, and I have no complaints about that.

My favorite tracks:
- Damage
- Appreciate
- Please Say No
- I Will Steal You Back

Friday, 7 June 2013

Don't be daft, this IS Daft Punk.



"Once you free your mind about the concept of harmony and music being correct, you can do whatever you want." - Giovanni Giorgio, on Giorgio By Moroder

That one sentence pretty much sums up what I think of Daft Punk's latest album. It sounds as though they were sitting down one day and decided, "Hey you know what? Everyone is doing what we were doing these days, and everyone is doing what they THINK our music should sound like. So fuck that shit, man, let's just do whatever we want and not worry about people complaining about what we SHOULD sound like."

So yeah, with Random Access Memories, they've gone and made an album that is so unexpectedly NOT them that it's brilliant.

Seriously , if you wanted another album that sounds like Discovery or their past albums, just go listen to those albums again. The beauty of Daft Punk's latest album is that they obviously DIDN'T WANT it to sound like their previous work.

Now, I don't listen to much dance or electronic music in the first place, but this was probably one of the most... organic dance albums I've ever heard.

Yeah, ORGANIC. That's probably the best word I can use to describe Random Access Memories. It's as warm, organic, and natural as a dance album can get, with disco, funk, jazz, blue vibes throughout, and some GREAT and catchy hooks. It's a electronic dance album with a very human touch (unlike many of the EDM acts around these days), and it is definitely one of the best albums I've heard so far this year.

My Favorite songs:
- Giorgio by Moroder (damn hook got stuck in my head for days)
- Get Lucky (Freaking chorus is an annoyingly catchy earworm as well)
- Instant Crush (great tune, and Julian Casablancas ffs)
- Lose Yourself To Dance
- Give Life Back to Music