Friday, 23 May 2014

All You Need Is Tom Cruise

Edge of Tomorrow.
Not a review.
Should have been called All You need is Kill.
Cos that's a WAAAAY cooler title.
I mean, Edge of Tomorrow?
What the hell does that even MEAN?

Oklah, the movie was better than expected.
Quite good actually.
Like Groundhog Day with aliens and explosions.
Or Source Code but with a bigger budget.
Plus it's got Tom Cruise getting killed.
Over, and over, and over, and over again.

Action is good, pacing is good,
The story is kickass,
And the acting is pretty damn good too.
Emily Blunt is good,
Tom Cruise is good (more on him later).

It's based on a Japanese novel/manga
And they've kept MOST of the story at least
(which is kickass, BTW)
If only they hadn't cast Tom Cruise.
Ok, he was actually pretty good here,
But I swear he just Tomcruisifies everything he does,

It doesn't matter where the source material came from.
Mission Impossible? More like Tom Cruise: Secret Agent.
Jack Reacher? More like Tom Cruise: Private Eye.
Oblivion? More like Tom Cruise versus Tom Cruise.
Edge of Tomorrow? More like All You Need Is Tom Cruise.

But this is worth watching in the cinema though.
Especially IMAX.
the opening battle scene alone is worth the IMAX ticket.
And at least Tom Cruise doesn't smile TOO much.
(So you won't get blinded by his dazzling white teeth)

Tuesday, 20 May 2014

Singer in the Key of X

X-Men: Days of Future Past
Not a review.
Now THAT is an X-Men movie!
Not that Brett Ratner crap.
This is Singer in the Key of X!

PROFESSOR X! (Both old and new ones are awesome)
MAGNETO! (Wah Fassbender does a GREAT Mckellen)
WOLVERINE! (SO MUCH better here than in his OWN movies)

MYSTIQUE! (Jannifer Lawrence hubba hubba)
QUICKSILVER! (has THE BEST SCENE of 2014 so far)
KITTY PRYDE! (Eh since when she had THOSE powers?)

ICEMAN! (An ice slide, FINALLY!)
STORM! (Halle Berry is still the worse Storm ever)
BEAST! (is your alias James P. Sullivan, Hank?)
ROGUE! (Oh wait...)

BLINK! (Blink and you'll miss her only spoken line!)
COLOSSUS! (Eh macam tak power langsung wan)
Sunspot! Warpath! Havok! Er... Toad!
And a whole lot more I can't give away spoilers for!

Welcome back, Mr Singer,
And well done.
This is the best X-Men movie since YOUR last X-Men movie.
And to top it all off,
You've erased the memory of Brett Rattner's Last Stand!
(stay behind for the end of credits scene, BTW)

Monday, 12 May 2014


Not a review.

Now THAT'S a Godzilla movie!
Not that stupid Roland Emmerich crap.
At least THIS Godzilla looks like Godzilla,
Not a like a mutated T-Rex.
And when THAT tail LIGHTS UP...

The MUTO looks a bit like the Cloverfield monster though,
And somehow reminded me of the Pacific Rim kaijus.
Looks damn awesome when destroying stuff.
But hor, I dowan to just see monsters destroying stuff.

Correction: I dowan to see monsters destroying stuff, ON THEIR OWN.
I wanna see monsters FIGHTING GOJIRA!!!
A bit too much drama drama for me though.
Too many humans emoing
Not enough monsters demolishing.

Also hor, a bit slow lor
30 minutes in, not a single monster in sight.
Only Walter White and his nuclear reactor.
And Kick-Ass pretending to be a soldier.

But when GOJIRA! came on,
That was like, FUCK YEAH! GOJIRA!!!!
But the damn director kept teasing us.
Godzilla and MUTO about to fight... CUT TO SMALL TV SCREEN
Godzilla and MUTO facing off... CLOSE DOOR.
WTF! *flip table*

One thing I couldn't help noticing though,
I hereby dub thee Obesezilla!
Yo-zilla so fat he make keju by sitting on keju
Yoz-zilla so fat he make Jaeger look like Mick Jagger
Ate too many cheeseburgers is it?
The Japanese one eat sushi more hehehehe.

Monday, 5 May 2014

Amazing? Not quite. Superior? Oh yes.

The Amazing Spider-Man 2.
Not a review.
Well played, Mark Webb, well played.
This is my second favorite Spidey movie,
After the first Spider-Man 2.

For me, this is THE definitive Peter Parker,
(Sorry, Tobey Maguire)
Awkward, geeky, and loser-ish,
And awesome as Spider-man.

It's also the best Parker/Spidey combo.
Now THAT is Spider-man.
And welcome back, Spidey wise-cracks!
And this is DEFINITELY THE BEST web-slinging EVER.
Can get vertigo also ok.

This was all about Peter and Gwen.
And it was done pretty well, I thought.
Leaving MJ out this time was a good idea after all.
The Peter-Gwen chemistry was pretty good,
And at the very least, it wasn't TOO mushy mushy.
You actually cared about what happened to them.
Plus it's Emma Stone!

But hor, the bad guys a bit DUH lor.
Electro is damn power,
But really, a bit two dimensional lor.
Zap here zap there,
Nothing much left to do.

Harry Osborne at least a bit better,
A bit kayu at first,
Had to get used to him a bit.
But I liked this Green Goblin.
More than the silly neon green one in Spider-Man.

The less said about Rhino the better though...
But at least they didn't overdo it with the villains,
Not like Spider-Man 3...

Was it Amazing? Maybe.
Was it Spectacular? Quite, especially the webslining scenes.
Was it Superior? Well, yes, compared to the first one.
This is also a lot more heartfelt and gut-wrenching.
And it's definitely the best one in THIS incarnation of Spidey so far.