Thursday, 31 July 2014

More Fun Than You Can Shake A Groot At



Guardians of The Galaxy.
Not a review.
"It wouldn't work," they said.
"It has no Avengers," they said.
"It's their biggest risk," they said.
"It's DOOMED cos it's got a FREAKING TALKING RACCOON!" they said.
I wonder who these "they" are,
cos I wanna find them and say, "BLAM! MURDERED YOU!"



Because the talking raccoon is the best thing in the movie.
Well, also to the talking tree.
And the human thesaurus.
And the green Na'vi.
And the 80's flashback white dude.
Heck, ALL THE GUARDIANS ARE AWESOME!



Star-Lord!
Star, Lord, man.
The Han Solo of Marvel, maybe?
Hey wait, MArvel and Star Wars are under Disney now,
Can Star-Lord cameo in Star Wars PLEAAAASEE????



DRAX! THE DESTROYER!
A.K.A. The Walking Thesaurus!
His reflexes are so fast nothing goes over his head!
What I would have given to see him do a Batista Bomb on Ronan.



Gamora!
From now on you shall be known as Gamora Saldana,
Just because it rhymes.
And because you kick ass!
And Zoe, green suits you more than blue, BTW.



Rocket Raccoon!
(Sorry, he's NOT a raccoon.
(Just like this is NOT a review.)
Easily one of the coolest characters of 2014.
C'mon, it's a Raccoon, with a BLASTER GUN BIGGER THAN HIM
That's cool, right?



I am Groot!
I... AM... GROOT!
I, AM Groot.
I am Groot?
I. AM. GROOOOOOT!!!!



Only complaint is the bad guys.
Like, DUH? THAT'S IT?
Ronan the Accuser didn't accuse much, did he?
Even Ronan Keating had more character.
And Nebula who?



Together, they are the GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY!
Of the Marvel movies this year, this is my favorite.
And arguably my second favorite movie of the year.
Maybe even the first.



Captain America was great and all, but this was better.
IT's more... FUN!
FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN
More fun than you can shake a Groot at!
And if you say otherwise...
BLAM! MURDERED YOU!