Wednesday, 6 August 2014

Turtles: POWER. Action: POWER. Story: TAK POWER.



Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
Not a review.
Heroes in a half shell!
Turtle power!
Cowabunga!



Leonardo, commander and the leader!
Raphael, he is the rage and the anger!
Donatello, he is the smartest fighter!
(Oh, and Michaelangelo, Pizza power!)
Turtle tubs save the day!



Fighting crime, trying to save the world,
Here they come, just in time,
The Ninja Turtles!
Er, sorry, wrong cartoon theme song.



At first you'll be, like, OMG THEY LOOK SO UGLY!
Then later the look kinda grows on you.
But you'll still get a bit annoyed here and there,
Especially with Michelangelo.
Like, what's with the hip-hop overdose, dude?



Megan Fox: acting tak power!
But hey, it's Megan Fox.
She's not exactly there for her acting, right?
Will Arnett, a bit wasted.
He's BATMAN, for god's sake.
ok, just his LEGO voice, but STILL...



So.. they really took shredder's name literally, didn't they?
"He's called Shredder, lets make him shred stuff!"
Wolverine? BAH, he's only got six claws.
Shredder? He's got a FREAKING SHREDDING MACHINE ON HIS HANDS!
Now, if only he'd shred some cheese too.
Shredder shredding the chedder. Hur hur.



So...
Turtles: POWER.
Story: TAK POWER.
Action: POWER
Shredder: LOW POWER
Megan: POWDER FLUFF
OVERALL: BRAIN POWER OFF.



Hey, it's Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
Produced by MICHAEL BAY
What else did you expect?
You want serious turtle shit?
Go read the original TMNT comics.