Wednesday, 13 May 2015
Mad Max: Fury Road
Not a review.
Mad to the max.
Makes Fast And Furious look like a Hot Wheels commercial.
CRASH BOOM BANG EXPLODY POW POW
VROOM VROOM WHEEE ARGGGH NO NO NO
AWRIGHT! WHAAAAT! HAAHAHAH NOOOOOOO
BIFF POW BANG BANG BANG CRASSSSH
JENG JENG JENG BADDA BADDA BADDA
Where do I start,
This movie puts pedal to the metal from the start,
From the very first scene, it's GO GO GO GO GO,
And it never lets up.
It's action, action, punk rock action all the way.
If I have another daughter, I wanna name her Furiosa.
Because Charlize Theron's Furiosa is BADASS.
Tom Hardy? Meh.
His Max not very Mad also.
But Furiosa was FURIOUS.
This should have been called TOO FAST TOO FURIOSA.
And damn, the AWESOME CARS, the TRUCKS, the BIKES.
I would LOVE a model of that War Rig.
And Immortan Joe's Gigahorse.
And the Ripsaw! It's one with the tank threads.
And the People Eater's Mercedes limo truck.
And that truck with that punk rock guitarist out front jamming war anthems!
Didn't watch the first Mad Max movies?
It doesn't take much to get into this one.
You don't even need to know there were Mad Max movies in the 80s.
Heck, the only thing I remember form those movies,
Was Tina Turner's "We Don't Need Another Hero".
So yeah, go watch Mad Max.
Because it's the best car-related movie this year.
It makes Fast And Furious look lame.
This one has (mostly) practical effects and stunts, babeh,
None of that CGI shit (much)
And none of that hip-hop crap either.
PUNK ROCK TO THE MAX, BABEH!