Tuesday, 10 May 2016

WTF BABY-EATING PIGS ANGRY ANGRY ANGRY



The Angry Birds Movie.
Not A Review.
Wait a minute,
Do people still play Angry Birds?
Heck, do people still CARE about Angry Birds?
Wouldn't this movie have made more sense,
Like, 3 years ago when the game was still hot?



Anyway, there are birds on an island,
And they are all happy birds.
Except one.
Red is angry, like, all the time.
Because the birds around him are stupid.
Hey, I like him already.



Anyway, the gang's all there,
The yellow speedy bird
The black bomb bird,
The white egg-laying bird,
The GIANT red bird,
And the useless boomerang bird.
Oh, and the three little blue ones.



Then the PIGS SHOW UP!
OMG PIGS!
OINK OINK PIGS!
Sure they're green, but PIGS
OINK! OINK!
Like, how did THEY manage to get THEM in?




For a cartoon for kids, the story is damn dark lor.
The pigs steal the bird's eggs and want to EAT THEM.
THEY STOLE THE BIRDS' BABIES
AND WANT TO EAT THEM.
Like, IMMA EAT YOUR BABIES MUAHAAHAHA
OMG HOW SICK IS THAT.
I mean, LOOK HOW CUTE THOSE BABIES ARE.



So yeah, the pigs steal the eggs (bastards)
So the birds have to get them back...
By throwing themselves kamikaze-like at the buildings.
I know it's based on the game,
And I know the birds are virtually indestructible,
And I know it's a CARTOON.
But still...



Anyway, ok watch.
Kinda liek the game
Play already, forget.
Just don't overthink things, ok?
Don't be angry.
Don't be like me.